Holidays.

I don't really know why, but in my young adulthood I've been alot more conscious about the passage of time and seasons. I remember early this year how I yearned for the leaves to grow green once more and the temperature to rise, to then see the leaves go orange and fall off and a strong chill blow past me, the trees have died once more and I once again look forward to the summer season next year.

Winter is lovely, don't get me wrong; festivities and (initial) snow are always something to look forward to; But I am physically alot more prone to the cold than the average person. My girlfriend once told me something along the lines of "Maybe Southeast asian people are more vulnerable to winter than like a white person" which Is something that hasn't particularly been proven but I choose to believe anyways, It would also probably explain my penchant for summer, much to the chagrin of all my friends.

Coldness aside, Christmas does make me happy, though this is the first year I've "come home for christmas" ever since I moved sometime late summer. It was an interesting feeling initially though now that I've acclimated to being home again not much has really changed, I'm just back at my old desk and lounging around on my laptop, working on my site and what not. Despite it being not so long ago at all I'm still quite nostalgic for this feeling, If only I had my old job from at the time aswell.

I decided to help my aunt and my mom go to the mall for christmas shopping; Not too long ago I was talking to my girlfriend about how my aunt would pick me up from school around the holidays when I was a kid and bring me to the mall to do holiday shopping; a very nostalgic holiday feeling. My aunt even remembered that which gave me an even sweeter feeling. Half the malls in my state are of the dying variety but It makes me happy to see my childhood mall still do relatively well, Though alot of the stores I liked from when I was a kid are long gone.

For the last few Christmases I haven't really been asking for much, which is partly because I'm somewhat disillusioned with the holiday and consumerism with all that. I just want my family to get me something they think I'd like rather than ask me for anything, but that never happens. Maybe this is me being an asshat for expecting stuff like that but like, I guess I just want to be pleasantly surprised rather than just wait a few weeks to get something I was there for them to buy. I remember when I went online shopping for friends last year and It was really joyful for me to get things that I think my friends would like, and they were all hits! That made me really happy.

Also... please just get me a gift, do not blow hundreds on something for me, I'm going to feel bad, you also wouldn't spend hundred on me any other time of the year, why do It now.

Though... The sole thing I asked for was "Kirby Return to Dreamland Deluxe" since that was a game I missed out on last year, and I still love Kirby after all these years.

Still, I wish Christmas didn't feel transactional, that said, what's most important during the holidays is that the people I care for are happy. So what's really to say about everything I somewhat disdain about the holidays; The positivity always outweighs the negatives.

My favorite gift I recieved last year was also one I was not expecting. It was this very lovely pink sapphire bracelet given to my by my girlfriend. She wanted to give me something that would last a very long time, as opposed to something I'd only appreciate for a given period of time. I found that to be very touching.

I don't wear it as often as I should... but I really do love it. I want to wear it more throughout the coming new year.

Happy Holidays to whoever is reading.